Returning some Videotapes

The Watch

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 00:22:42 +0100

At first glance, The Watch doesn’t offer much new: Vince Vaughan plays his usual loud mouth, arrogant jerk, Jonah Hill plays his standard creepy, deranged fool and Ben Stiller plays his less likable stick-in-the-mud role, that makes us wish he’d stick to films such as Tropic Thunder & Zoolander. To some extent, these roles work, (at least the Box Office takings prove) which is why the actors play their respective parts so often. However, repetition in roles can became tiresome, a risk The Watch comes dangerously close to at times. I mean, why exactly does Vince Vaughan have to shout so much, is it to keep himself awake? It certainly seems that way.

Surprisingly, a lot of the success of the movie rests on the well-dressed shoulders of Richard Ayoade, a relative unknown to most. Ayoade succeeds in bringing a different brand of comedy to the leading men, and is given a lot of screen time for a newcomer. It would seem there are plans for Ayoade in the film industry, as seems that he is given the best lines, allowing him to effortlessly steal most of the scenes. In fact, towards the film’s climax, director and Lonely Island alum Akiva Schaffer seems to make Ayoade the focus of most the shots; even indulging Ayoade in the time honoured tradition of withdrawing guns in slow motion.

Schaffer’s Lonely Island humour is present, with most of the humour taking the shape of dick jokes, ball sucking, pissing, and semen. Basically, the whole male crotch region. The Lonely Island themselves enjoy a small, yet funny cameo that centres on – yeup, you guessed it – another dick joke. Like fart jokes, dick jokes are funny, but it’s lazy humour; and as the film becomes more sci-fi orientated; the comedy begins to feel cheap.

The Watch made no secret regarding its sci-fi roots during advertising; even so, the sci-fi element becomes the weakest part of the film. Most of the laughs naturally come from the dialogue between the four male leads, while the shenanigans of the aliens become tedious, and eventually just get in the way of the jokes. Soon the whole thing uncomfortably resembles Attack The Block, another mediocre alien-comedy movie. Scenes involving a “local orgy” provided the most fun, and more importantly, felt more natural for the leads. It may seem surprising that The Watch was co-written by no less than three writers, as the plot becomes quite rushed toward the end and becomes a little messy. A sub-plot exploring Stiller’s threatened masculinity feels oddly out of place, seemingly letting on that the film was written a little too seriously in places.

A little more time between the male leads, without aliens, would have improved things greatly. Aside from that fault, some pretty well written dialogue, likeable leads and snappy editing makes The Watch an enjoyable, if not silly movie. Provided you don’t get tired of phallic orientated humour easily, you won’t be worse of for having seen this, but neither will you be pre-ordering the DVD in a hurry.

Ted

Thu, 02 Aug 2012 21:39:01 +0100

Ok, so don’t try to think about Ted’s plot too much: Girl wants guy to choose her over his underachieving life-long best friend, also the best friend is a Teddy Bear brought to life through a magic wish. However, if audiences were willing to enjoy to absurdity of Anchorman and the silliness of Dogdeball, then it’s a safe bet to assume Ted will be forgiven for a bizarre set-up. If you ignore the Teddy Bear aspect, the plot is painfully familiar, thereby hanging the entire success of the movie on the titular character. Fortunately, this gamble pays off and the majority of the laughs (and there are many) are thanks to Ted himself, with a job interview scene being particularly tear inducing.

Considering Ted is Directed, written and starring Seth MacFarlane, creator of both the hugely successful Family Guy, and the slightly less popular American Dad (no, not mentioning the other one), anyone who has sat down to an episode of either has a pretty good idea of what to expect. There is clearly a lot of love written into this film, and it feels as if it’s been sitting in MacFarlane’s to-do-pile for some time. MacFarlane’s famous Family Guy style cutaways are present, and have a less subtle presence than you’d expect in a major motion picture, but none the less feel at home. The ability to deliver a punch line quickly, and efficiently reminds us why they worked so well in Family Guy in the first place.

Like most things spawned by Seth MacFarlane, Ted is somewhat of a love letter to the 80s. This can wear thin after a while; especially to those who were born in the late 80s onwards – forcing audiences to eagerly await the next filthy joke. It may be childish, but this is where Ted is strongest – the filth. Much how Danny McBride has enjoyed a whole career based on foul language, Ted creates some of the biggest laughs just by uttering a swear word or two.

Mark Wahlberg reminds us he’s now perfectly at home starring in comedies, and much how the Funky Bunch didn’t work out for him, maybe movies like Max Payne should act as a clear hazardous signpost along his career path. With the exception of one emotional scene, Family Guy alum Mila Kunis does little for the movie save to progress the story. But really, this film is about the bromance between Wahlberg’s character and his Teddy Bear, and that works just fine.

Ultimately, Ted is a charming, silly and crude movie. The tone is perfect throughout the movie, which is of course - only if you’re not easily offended. It will be interesting to see if Seth MacFarlane can produce more movies of a similar standard. After all this refreshing comedy has demonstrated that some originality in comedy goes a long way, and why Adam Sandler keeps winning Razzie awards.

The Dark Knight Rises

Sat, 28 Jul 2012 03:47:11 +0100

After the cinematic juggernaut that was The Dark Knight, cinemagoers everywhere have been sceptic that a third Nolan Batman movie could deliver. And yeah, The Dark Knight Rises does deliver, taking it’s time in doing so. Those engrossed in Nolan’s Gotham will find the running time appropriate, perhaps even bordering on a sexual experience (just me then?), but less fanatic viewers may find 164 minutes excessive. The pacing can slow in places as we allow for exposition, but the payoff is so heart-pounding you’ll consider sending Nolan flowers by the credit-roll.

In this final chapter, we’re asked some heavy questions. How exactly does living a life of anger leave someone, and is it possible to simply to leave it behind? Viewers are given plenty of time to consider this, even if the theme does seem clouded amongst the introduction of new characters. As you’d expect, the movie looks amazing – notably opening with a spectacular plane hijacking. Gorgeous camera quality, and that distinctive Nolan glossy finish is always present. Nolan clearly has perfected his own filmmaking art long ago, and resists the type of showing off that was so evident in Inception. Likewise the score, which has always been a strong point of the franchise, reaches subtle new levels of perfection – aiding Bane’s early scenes in particular, providing menacing & unrelenting suspense.

Taking into consideration Heath Ledger gave us a perfect performance as The Joker; Tom Hardy was inevitably going to be held in comparison. Of course the Joker will always be top dog in this regard, but the writers, and Hardy himself, succeed in providing a fantastic villain. While we were scared of what the Joker could to do to Gotham, Bane forced audiences to also fear for the Batman himself, presenting an entirely new experience. Hardy’s accent does jump around, occasionally landing on English. This initially risks causing giggles, but as the story progresses the contrast to Hardy’s imposing physique makes him all the more unnerving.

Other additional cast members were also welcome, Anne Hathaway providing a pleasant surprise as an actually good ~~Catwoman~~ Selina Kyle (because Nolan is too cool for silly names). Also Torchwood’s Burn Gorman had a pleasingly larger role than the Frightened Inmate #2 type that was expected.

If there are casting criticisms, it’s simply to ask why Nolan felt it necessary to present us with the Inception cast reunion party? Joseph Gordon-Levitt especially seemed crow-bared in, but thankfully still an enjoyable character. Though you half wondered if Ellen Page would jump in halfway as the new Batgirl.

The Dark Knight Rises is epic in the true sense of the word; and Nolan has truly cemented his status as one of the greatest directors of all time. This is a superhero franchise that not only all others will aim to equal, but movies of all genres. And while TDKR can divulge in nods to a wider universe and blatant political commentary – the final product is fantastic. I just feel sorry for the poor soul who next handles Batman.

The Amazing Spider-Man

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 00:38:05 +0100

There’s no use trying to tiptoe around the Sam Raimi shaped elephant in the room. Just a mere 10 years after the original Spider-Man, no one thought the dust had settled. It was up to Director Marc Webb to entice us, to use his quirky creativity, and still answer to his lords and masters at Sony.

So, has Webb amazed us with his vision of the wall crawler? Much like Louis Leterrier’s dangerously titled The Incredible Hulk – ambitious adjectives invite easy criticism. Sadly, Webb has also created a mediocre reboot – saved largely in part to an endearing lead performance and, lets be honest here, a gorgeous leading lady. If Emma Stone’s socks don’t win you over, perhaps her convincing teenage bumbling will.

Which brings us to the best argument in favour of Webb; the Amazing Spider-Man’s finest feature is undoubtedly the charming dialogue. Garfield and Stone effortlessly perform well-written dialogue in a elegant combination. The awkward scenes between Garfield & Stone are by far the best, and the more adorable, parts of the movie. A standout scene focuses around an uncomfortable dinner, and perhaps was more entertaining than any other scene. Webb seems comfortably at home directing these scenes, and he does a good job shaking off those Twilight comparisons that dangled about so much. Surprisingly, the action scenes are the moments you’ll find your cinema seat more uncomfortable.

Where dialogue reigns supreme however, the plot lets the Amazing Spider-Man down. Starting off with a somewhat intriguing mystery around the Parker parents, this story thread is soon forgotten and is only mentioned in a post-credit scene that shamelessly promotes a sequel. On that matter, lazy attempts at “mysterious stranger in the shadows” was already handled terribly in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes, so unless your reveal is Samuel L. Jackson, is best to avoid past mistakes. Likewise, the inevitable uncle Ben death (granted handled better this time) is also soon abandoned.

So with a genetically altered spider crawling around, mystery of the disappearing parents, Michael Sheen getting shot and Denis Leary chasing Spidey across Manhattan. There isn’t much room left for Rhys Ifan’s Lizard. Perhaps that’s for the best, the Lizard looks terrible. Not only does the CGI seem alarmingly poor for such a big blockbuster, but also, the design itself is meagre. Which is a shame when compared to the gorgeous web-slinging shots throughout the movie. It’s easy to intertwine the villain’s origin into the hero’s in a film like this, and makes more sense – but the similarities are too similar Willem Dafoe’s Green Goblin in 2002’s Spider-Man. In fact, an especially lazy scene involving aspects of Rhys Ifan’s personality battle it out within seemed to lift directly from the original, and frankly isn’t handled as well. Thank god Michaela Fassbender turned down the role, as even the normally second-rate Ifans felt underused.

At the age of 28, Garfield surprisingly acts the role moody teenager perfectly. It’s particularly refreshing to see the wisecracking Spider-Man from the comic pages faithfully adapted. Garfield playing the confidence of someone with an alter ego is perhaps especially relevant in an age of angry YouTube trolls. One can hope Garfield isn’t typecast in the future, and hopefully we’ll get to see more of his performances akin to the Social Network and Never Let Me Go.

It seems unfair to keep comparing Marc Webb’s Amazing Spider-Man to Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, but inevitably it’s on the mind of every cinemagoer right now. The Amazing Spider-Man is a harmless, cute and more relevant take on the web-slinger. With strong leads in the form of Andrew Garfield & Emma Stone, this franchise can (and unavoidably, will) go places. Perhaps a more focused plot, and more time taken on the villain will improve the sequel… A Bruce Campbell cameo wouldn’t hurt either.

Doctor Who - Gritty Bafta?

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 00:58:56 +0100

Doctor Who is Britain’s zany uncle. Bear with me - when it’s around, it’s in your face, and you tolerate it because it’s established, lovingly. Your younger cousins love the cheesiness but you’re getting older, and frankly it’s lame. Yet when it’s the summer family BBQ and you know none of your mates are there to judge you, you genuinely start to enjoy the company, and as long as you don’t get molested at Christmas, it turns out to be harmless fun. (It should be noted we do get Christmas specials, so be careful)

So what happens when Doctor Who goes gritty Bafta? Well in the case of such episodes as “Time of Angels” and “Flesh & Stone”, you get thrilling adventures best viewed from behind a pillow with one brave eye. “Vincent & the Doctor” was such a triumph of drama; doctors might pronounce you officially dead if your tears fail to be jerked. Favourite for season’s best episode, “Amy’s Choice” was so unusual it worked on levels Doctor Who may never again be able to double so excellently. It allowed us to explore deeper realms of the dear Doctor without self-pity or indeed, self-harm.

On the other hand, “Vampires of Venice” and to some extent “Victory of the Daleks” passed us in the same way an untied, fully inflated balloon does when released. In such episodes, the crisp HD cameras felt far too cinematic for its own good and did nothing but highlight the faults. On the subject of “Victory of the Daleks”, this was an episode felt simply as a vehicle for creating an unnecessary, cheap new look for the Daleks. So now Doctor Who’s nemesis are as bright and plastic looking as all the kit in a primary school sports day. When your episode’s highlight is a Jammy Dodger you know you have a problem.

The season obviously allowed our favourite Time Lord to flesh out (not physically of course, have a pie mate). When Matt’s Doctor would hit his own head to assist scheming, or would repeat a word several times in repetition, one wouldn’t be out of line to hand him a leaflet informing him how he can live with Autism. In fact, in the time of the Time Lords, his clumsiness often shows he’d have been taken ‘round the back of the shed and put out of his misery. Yet there’s been a method to his madness, and time and time again this intergalactic university student has found easy ways to stride out of the impossible. This, dear reader, is in fact a complaint.

Both the cliffhangers to “Time of Angels” and “The Pandorica Opens” were rather epic, only to be lazily solved within minutes in the concluding episode. The flippant solution to the Doctor’s escape from the Pandorica for example, felt all too easy and suddenly you’d realised the season’s entire build up theme of peril was as over-hyped as Keira Knightley’s muff in Atonement. No Thanks.

Still, the Doctor had charm and swagger, and in episodes such as “The Lodger” you just wanted to pick up the tiny man and hug him. Particularly refreshing after Tennant spent the entire specials season moping about, albeit brilliantly. We viewers were even treated to a bit of depth early in the season; the Doctor’s rage at Amy in “The Beast Below” was in a word, marvellous and strongly reminiscent of Eccleston’s “Stupid Apes!” rants, necessarily reminding us that the Doctor is still an alien. In a show that was all about the new and the shiny, it was delightfully nostalgic to be reminded of our hero’s past incarnations.

Amy’s progression throughout her travels was predictable, yet Karen Gillan for the most part found ways to make us like her. Granted, this was sometimes cheaply achieved via a short skirt or hot pants. If one were to catch “The Kevin Bishop Show” on 4oD for example, you’ll see that Karen isn’t afraid to show off her assets, just remember not to get too engrossed if viewing during your lunch hour. It was Amy’s fickle feelings for Rory, and general immaturity that made it difficult to like her completely at times, and come season’s end, it was hard to believe Rory was actually controlled by the Nestine consciousness and hadn’t just developed a spine.

Rory was really forced on us, and with the exception of “Amy’s Choice” Rory always seemed to be crowbared into the different plots. And to be honest, he was so much like Rose’s Mickey Smith you could predict his character development easily. Ok fine, I didn’t exactly predict him becoming a sex toy, “Trust the plastic” - oh aye. Still, he did grow on us, and his wedding scenes in “The Big Bang” were genuinely funny.

The show is certainly taking itself more seriously, it’s far more cinematic then it has been, the camera work in “Vincent & the Doctor” really is a terrific example. On rare occasion, there has been more style than substance, with the ending to “The Pandorica Opens” saw the BBC dig out every alien costume they had in storage from Doctor Who and Torchwood and fit onto as many extras that could keep their mouths shut. Creating a scene that was yes, visually impressive, but didn’t make much sense. Especially as half those aliens were mindless monsters, not aliens capable of plotting.

Comedy has been carefully maintained, and the action has been revved up dramatically. Overall, a pretty decent season, different – yes. Better? Perhaps. If Moffat can create further characters as brilliant as the enigmatic River Song (created in season 4, mind you), we could have a real winner. However if the Cybermen also suffer a needless reinvention, Moffat may loose Nerd points.

So, we eagerly await Christmas, when the uncle next visits wearing a festive jumper.

Bringing our new Doctor home to meet the 'rents

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 22:28:00 +0100

With all rules of “no talking to strangers” gone out the window, young Amy Pond was all too ready and willing to accept this strange new man into her life. So in fact, were we, the audience. We’d already grown quite attached to David Tennant; some of us may have gone so far to claim that one Doctor may be quite able to beat up another. Yet like a girlfriend who just isn’t quite as inciting as that hot girl across the bar, we casually threw David out into the trash and giddily embraced young Matt Smith into our warm arms. Granted with a bit of undignified dribble running down our chin.

The transition was rather painless, for the first twenty minutes or so, our new Doctor was equally zany and his mannerisms did mirror Tennant. Once that pesky plot subdued our expectations, the focus shifted and Young Smith sobered somewhat into a charming, headstrong Doctor. Of course, there’s our new companion too.

Ever the horny Doctor, our dear Time Lord cannot abide males in his phone box for too long and we’re once again given a young lady friend. Amy it would seem is rather sexy. But we’re not allowed to sneakily think this to ourselves whilst slowly unzipping our flies. No-no, we’re given a full gorgeous shot from toes to scalp of this slender woman, dressed like every university girl who thought mascaraing whiskers on her face and donning a tail was too lazy a fancy dress costume. So really, this new sex appeal is rammed down our throats, rather than allowing us to shamefully discover it. I mean, Billie Piper looked like she could fit a whole fist in her mouth; but that was an unspoken lust.

Techno-babble has apparently become a health risk and thus slimmed down, but none-the-less is present to keep the Nerds in check. Taking the Tardis around Ikea and swapping the L.E.D in the Sonic Screwdriver also stamp the words “Look! It’s not the same!” across our screens. Coincidently I’m sure a new range of toys will be on the shelves before season’s end. So we get it, Doctor Who has a new image. All has changed, yeah?

Well – ish. The villain of the episode was borrowed from the indent critter of the “Watch” TV channel. And as charismatic and young as Smith may be, he’s not a stone’s throw away from Tennant. Sticking a bowtie and a shorter jacket on won’t hide the blatant truth, Matt. And a pink shirt (But that’s not a conventional colour shirt for a man!) is certainly different, but in principle it’s pretty much the same as that old crinkled pinstriped ensemble. Hairstyles remain delightfully floppy and we already have a potentially awkward attraction between Companion and Doctor. I’m not saying every companion since 2005 has had to want to bed a man with two hearts, but no one in their right mind would really consider Catherine Tate’s temp from Chiswick a serious romantic potential.

It is great to see Doctor Who getting back to its roots. Ignoring any official statement that the BBC may issue, we all know it to be one simple truth: to almost literally scare the shit out of small children. Prisoner Zero did seem one of the more scary monsters to come out of Doctor Who for a while. And a lot more of the critters in the series promo do seem less child friendly. Suspense has been steadily dripping from the tap someone forgot to turn off when they wrote the last season’s finale. Allowing Doctor Who to feel slightly more an adult show. Let’s hope Matt’s Doctor isn’t too bold, the only thing that’s ever made a Dalek remotely scary was the fact both Eccleston and Tennant were so terrified of them. Without that, we’ve got a flying toaster no longer bound by buildings lacking disabled access.

Towards the end of his maiden voyage, Matt Smith proudly boats “I’m the Doctor”. Yeah ok Smith, we believe you. Despite his fresh, and squashed, face, Smith did seem to be a man of experience. He really did seem 900 and something years old, with the arrogance and swagger of someone who really has saved the world more times than he’d care to mention. And despite the understandably first weak plot, Smith’s first outing was really just a showcase of things to come. It looks like 2010 is going to be a fine year for British Sci-Fi. Take that Caprica.